Navigating the cultural diversity of global dining

Last weekend, I dined with friends at a popular restaurant in Pudong, known for its traditional Shanghai cuisine. About 40 minutes into our meal, the owner came over and asked how we liked the food.

Having spent 16 years abroad, my instinct was to respond with a polite "great", even if the food was not exceptional. It is a common practice to tell a white lie in such situations.

In my years abroad, I have advised fellow Chinese that when greeted with "How are you doing?" they should simply reply "Fine, thank you, and you?".

Most people do not expect a lengthy conversation about your health or something else that has gone wrong in your life unless you are speaking with close friends.

The food that day was indeed authentic and delicious, and I would definitely recommend the restaurant to others.

Fortunately, we had made reservations, as there was a long line of guests waiting for a table.

Unlike me, one of my friends started to talk like a food critic. She pointed out to the owner that the grilled cuttlefish in brown sauce could be more tender, and then moved on to critique another dish.

I felt a bit embarrassed by her candor and looked at the owner almost apologetically. However, the owner did not seem upset at all. He listened attentively to my friend, thanked her for the suggestions and promised improvements.

The conversation was cordial, and at the end, the owner thanked us again and offered us a complimentary babaofan, or eight-treasure rice pudding. We gladly accepted.

This experience was a reverse culture shock for me after being abroad for so long.

I occasionally wrote restaurant reviews 20 years ago when I worked at the Shanghai Star, a China Daily-owned tabloid. I understand the importance of honest restaurant reviews.

In the US and Europe, while customers often say "everything is great" at the restaurant, online reviews on platforms like Google could be quite different.

I frequently look at such reviews before picking a restaurant.

In China, some restaurants now offer rewards to customers who give five-star ratings on Dianping that is a popular restaurant guide and lifestyle platform.

This means five-star reviews are less reliable now because they may not tell the whole story.

Dining in a restaurant in China is a very different experience compared to the US and Europe. Restaurants in China can be quite noisy unless you are in a private room. I prefer quietness, but talking in whispers in some Western restaurants also makes me uncomfortable.

For many Chinese, Japanese and Koreans, eating noodles in Western countries can be challenging, as slurping is considered rude. But in East Asia, the same loud sound means you are actually enjoying your meal.

When I shared this with Bill, my US colleague in China Daily's New York office, he was amazed.

I explained that while I try to minimize the sound, I wouldn't suppress it completely because it would take away the pleasure of eating good noodles, especially in a Chinese noodle restaurant in New York.

I argued why it was acceptable for US people to blow their noses loudly in restaurants in New York while East Asians shouldn't slurp their noodles.

I recall my student days at Fudan University in Shanghai when the old woman running a wonton and noodles stand near my dorm would quietly mock foreign students who ate noodles in very small bites to avoid slurping them. "They don't know how to eat noodles," she would laugh.

There is no superiority in these cultural differences. Whether eating with chopsticks, forks and knives, or bare hands, these are just different traditions and should be respected.

This diversity is the beauty of our world.

The author is a China Daily columnist.

chenweihua@chinadaily.com.cn